self acceptance

Self love. Self Acceptance. Self Reliance.

We all strive to reach some level of “self” excellence in the aforementioned.

But, let’s face it. Everyone, at one point of time or another in their lives, has wanted to lose a little weight, maybe gain a little weight, wanted your skin darker, a little lighter, hips wider, bigger muscles or maybe a thicker mustache. It seems we forever want to be a little bit “better” than we are.

But for who? For why? (Yes……I said for why because I’m THAT annoyed with this phenomenon)

We wreck our brains and our pockets to fit society’s viewpoint on what beautiful, attractive, and ultimately accepted really means. We purchase hair dye, waist trainers, expensive contour makeup, steroids, etc. to look a certain way. We decide what’s acceptable and highly regarded based on experience and exposure. Your mind is only extended as far as you are exposed personally, professionally, culturally, and spiritually. Your understanding of what is accepted and “best” is compiled of years of exposure and experience.

But when does it all stop? When does the outside world become silent enough to concentrate on you? To love you? To focus entirely on you? To totally accept YOU for YOU? Please understand that all your short comings as well as successes are a masterpiece; Part of the process for Gods ultimate purpose for your life right?

Now, there are some that will probably profess they’ve never had an incident where they were unhappy with something about themselves. To those extremely rare people I salute you.

i amI chose to write about this topic because a couple of months back Facebook reminded me through “Your Memories” I was 25 pounds lighter only 2 years ago. I looked at the photo of me scantily clad in a black and lace dress and remembered my thoughts as I walked into the party that night……

I’m. So. Fat.

I remember clear as day saying “My stomach looks so huge in this dress.” Now here I am, two years later WISHING, PRAYING, and KILLING MYSELF in the gym to get back to a size where my head didn’t even fit my body!

That’s when I asked myself, when Chanel? When will you just be happy with the beautiful being God made? More importantly, who are you trying to impress and WHY do they matter in the first place? I finally decided I don’t really care what anyone thinks and the freedom that mindset brings is unmatched! It doesn’t matter if I’m 150 pounds or 300 pounds. I’m the same loving, warm hearted, nurturing, progressive bad ass I’ve been my entire life no matter what I weigh!

It was the beginning of a turn around in my adult life I never saw coming and you can do the same exact thing. I took some time out to regroup and reorganize my thoughts, vision, and reason for living. I deactivated my social media accounts, (very mentally helpful btw) changed my phone number and wrote down the 4 questions I wanted to answer for MYSELF before the end of the year.

  • In ten years, what will happiness look like to you?
  • What steps can you take to achieve said happiness?
  • Who/What brings joy/pain into your life? (Make a list. Evaluate each relationship; Business & Personal. Write down the pros and cons of each then add and subtract as necessary)
  • What do you ENJOY doing? (Then go do those things)

I found that you’re NEVER going to be completely happy with everything about yourself, but happiness does not exist in how much you weigh, how much money you make, who is in or out of your life, what degree you have, or where you live. Happiness, as cliché as it sounds, is an inside job and you must acquire within! The only way to be happy with someone else is to be happy with YOU first.

Then spread that ish around like glitter J

Be good to each other.

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Chanel Crawford

Chanel Crawford