On the many topics I cover, I do an enormous amount of research. By doing research, I get a compass on where I stand with other ‘experts’ on each subject. Repeatedly I notice there is always another angle to view a situation. Therefore knowing how to ‘Fix the Broken Pieces’ our lives is no different from any other subject. Without question, we all will encounter difficult situations that can potentially break us in some manner.  The break can be caused when a romantic relationship ends, death in the family, or losing a job. To other moments such as a friends betrayal, being ostracized by strangers or disappointment due to the direction our children decide to follow.

Black woman hugging her knees

To be blunt, there are times when life is not fair! However, I want to ask, “What have you done to prepare for life’s toughest situations? Over and again, the articles I researched told how one could overcome, get over, or manage certain tares in our hearts after the event happened. Today I want to submit to you a new model of dealing with life’s continuous (and often time’s tumultuous affairs) by taking the offensive and striking before tragedy can strike you. Very often, I see how we fight from behind the eight ball trying to “Fix the Broken Pieces!” Who told us we had to wait for tragedy to occur before we faced some of the disappointing events of life?

Novel approach you might say; but, no not really. Even if you are in the midst of something gone awry – catch up with the human race to know that life “Just stinks” at times. Herein lays the first step of overcoming the disappointing events:

  1. Understand that no one can escape something bad will happening. Think about it, can you name one person in the world that has never had to faced ‘zero’ tragedy? If you do, please drop me a email because I would like to meet them.
  2. My recommendation – do not panic when bad news arrives. Take some deep calmly breathes and get the facts, but try to remain in control of emotions. If you are not yourself, you will not be able to takes go to the step with rationally thinking. Calm down, and ask yourself, “What are the first three steps that need to be handled before you lose your mind?”
  3. Emotional maturity or immaturity will determine how situations are handled. Many times people cannot function properly because they are over emotional, which can lead to panic, which causes a lack of vision to solve the problem at hand. What are you facing? Is it death, do you have insurance and/or a will in place? Could it be that someone is at the hospital and you need to get there right away, do you already have an emergency caretaker, or a reliable neighbor to lock up your home? Being prepared to go to battle. That way, when a crisis strikes you will be in a better frame of mind to deal with unexpected situations, if  you have the basics covered through your support system.
  4. Has your trust been betrayed from an intimate relationship or friendship? Do not; I repeat do not call the people that will heighten the situation: like the aunt that gossips too much, the thug that wants to ‘handle’ things their way, or the meek that will agree with everything you say. Find the needed strength in those that gave you solid advice when things were peaceful. Next seek out professional resources or support groups (if needed). Take a moment to catch your breath, drive or walk around to see how you will handle things going forward.

Last I want to offer that you change your environment to set a different/new tone or mood. For example if you are dealing with a death, take the family on a drive to the next city and do something that helps lighten the emotional burden. Find a funny movie, or activity that is not self-destructive (drinking, overeating, fighting) to keep you closer to a balanced line of emotional control. No matter what steps you chose to get to the next level in your life don’t forget to “Increase YoUR Woman” by being prepared for things to be broken in life.


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Tonya J. Montgomery

Tonya J. Montgomery